strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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