Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i now understand why vodka
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
