i barfeds in our rink
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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