Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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