K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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