I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
