she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
