go do what you do best...puke behind churches
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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