I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
