I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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