The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize