His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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