life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
