i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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