i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
