And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
