He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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