Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
