i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
