I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
