i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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