I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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