Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
