Where is the hickey?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
