garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
