Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
