He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
