Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
