I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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