sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
