he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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