remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
