i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
