Soap is not a condiment
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
