he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
