So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
