trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
