You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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