That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
