It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
