WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
