I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
