Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
