at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
