I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
