READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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