Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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