yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
