Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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