I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Bring me that man meat
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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